Stephanie on Side Effects

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ContributorStephanie, 55Read Full Bio

Biography

Stephanie, 55, has been married to our patient contributor Andy for 19 years. She has three children from a previous marriage and two stepchildren from Andy’s first marriage. Her biggest concern has always been making sure Andy does not become too dependent on pain medication. She had trouble understanding his pain and his avoidance of social situations. He had had surgeries and other procedures before she and Andy started their relationship, but he was not pain free. She wanted to motivate Andy to be proactive about his chronic back issues. She found a neurosurgeon that ended up bringing Andy the pain relief he didn’t think was possible.

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ContributorStephanie, 55Read Full Bio

Biography

Stephanie, 55, has been married to our patient contributor Andy for 19 years. She has three children from a previous marriage and two stepchildren from Andy’s first marriage. Her biggest concern has always been making sure Andy does not become too dependent on pain medication. She had trouble understanding his pain and his avoidance of social situations. He had had surgeries and other procedures before she and Andy started their relationship, but he was not pain free. She wanted to motivate Andy to be proactive about his chronic back issues. She found a neurosurgeon that ended up bringing Andy the pain relief he didn’t think was possible.

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Andy had home healthcare such as physical therapy & occupational therapy. Andy was brave and Stephanie felt she needed to be brave too. She learned to be patient and have gratitude. Andy had a few falls, and Stephanie was terrified he had reinjured himself, but the doctor told Andy he was doing great. When they started to walk together, and then bike with Andy using a recumbent bike, Stephanie felt like they were turning a corner in the recovery process.

When we went home, it was about two and a half weeks later, it was right around the holidays, they have home health care, physical therapy, occupational therapy, but they just came in for an hour, a nanosecond is what it seemed to me. And I just had to learn to be patient again. I’m gonna be focused on Andy. He was pretty brave to go through that surgery, I thought. And so I’ve gotta walk with him in this, so I have to mirror that, ‘cause we’re a team and I really tried to reevaluate and get back on board.

I try to do everything, but you know the middle of the night when you have to go, get up and go to the bathroom or the bedpan and I’m like, ugh, that’s hard! It’s really hard, you feel bad for saying that’s hard. ‘Cause there’s basic bodily functions that need to be taken care of. He can’t do it, and I’m thinking, oh, fast-forward 20 years [LAUGHS] what am I doing? And then I thought, if something happens to me, he would be doing the same for me.

So you have to measure yourself, you have to keep it in perspective. There’s a new thing that I’m doing, it’s called gratitude. And you always find something to be grateful for, ‘cause there’s no lack in gratitude. I think doctors need to prepare you better for postsurgical issues and, I know everybody’s different, and everybody heals differently, and progresses differently, but we’re at the two month mark, the three month mark, when he was supposed to be doing a lot better and he wasn’t.

He had taken his spills, he’d fallen, I thought he’s ruined the surgery, and we would go to the doctor for a checkup and he goes, Andy, you’re doing great, you’re right where you should be. But that two to three months turned into six to seven months. And he started physical therapy, and the doctor said, you’re ready to start, but it took six months. And once he start a physical therapy, he started to feel a little better, and get the blood moving. I mean they were baby steps, but I started seeing a noticeable difference in him. So I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.


So I was so excited he was walking with me, part of his physical therapy was a stationary recumbent bike, well he has a recumbent bike, I’m like, go ride your bike! We live in a pretty flat area, just ride it. Well I walked behind him with the dogs, and then he get the confidence and he goes, okay it hurts, but it doesn’t hurt more, and we just started evolving. It took a lot longer than we thought for him to feel some sense of success with the surgery.

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